Day Nine - Off for a safari in the Kalahari

We hit the road early doors and stopped briefly in Upington for two things, 1.) our new security system. (A motion sensor that sets off an alarm when you move in front of it, we’ll leave it in the car to scare burglars away, its not attched to anything and its barely audible outside of the vehicle, can’t see how it can fail really...) and 2.) some feather pillows. Fan dabi dozy!

Next stop the Kalahari. Pulled a beauty to get 66% off everything we do for the next four days, I told them my new South African ID number. It was new because I made it up five seconds after they told me the difference in price between South Africans and Brits, and two seconds before they asked me what nationality I was. Easy peasy. Feeling flush, we booked an evening game drive and hit the pool for an hour or so. Then we went to get the beers in.

So there we are, all lazy from chilling by the pool; sauntering, beers under arm, around the reserve shop with our wads of cash that we’d saved at the gate, when an ornately painted ostrich egg should catch my gaze and draw me in. I reached out and as I picked it up, didn’t notice the string attached to it. The same string that also happened to be looped around another, equally ornate and horribly fragile, candle holder. As soon as I’d knocked it, my spider senses kicked in. Aware that my arms were full (beer in one, egg in the other) I put my delicate right foot out to break the candle holders’ fall and maybe even gently ‘keepy-up’ it back onto its’ shelf. The lethargy however, and the fact my timing is only ever good during one in ten attempts, ensured that today I met that candle holder fully on the toe. It didn’t break at my feet, it went like a rocket across the shop floor behind the till point, through the cashiers legs and into the wall where it shattered. Not being sure whether to laugh or cry, I giggled and then apologised weakly. “You braik it, you bai it,” said the Dutch chick behind the counter. My smile disappeared. Five awkward minutes later, I’d explained to the shop manager about increasing profitability through sensible stacking policies. We had our beers, we’d outstayed our welcome.

Two lions, one mummy cheetah and three ‘ickle ones, a jackal, a few spotted owls and job lot of springbok and we’d finished the drive. No braai tonight though. Beer, pasta and pesto seasoned with sand.